You jokes
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
"Stop being racist. You wouldn't put that for blacks."
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they...
You cat to be kitten me right meow!