You jokes
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know a pedophile,
And he says he knows you.
There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta-joke."
So the guy replies,
OK. There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta-joke."
So the guy replies,
OK. There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender replies, "Here you go!"
So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.
Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
You sound like an owl.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
What do you call a stupid male Indian?
"Anshu-man."
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!
Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.