You jokes
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
Wanna me to show you a joke?
*Points at face* Funny, right?
Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
You're tiny!
Hi! 👋 I love 💕 you love 💕 a good time at home. 🏡
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.
Hi, this is Stephanie. Is it a fun night for you too? I love you!
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!