New You Jokes - Page 508 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a nosy pepper?

Jalapeno.

What do you call funny waves? Wave Chappelle.

Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?

How can you save a depressed person from a tree?

You cut the rope.

My life.

Tell me when you get it.

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?

How do you make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles

What do you call Anne born in May? A Maybe.

An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.

What do you call an old snowman?

Answer: Water.

What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?

Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.

The Cheerio Joke

Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.

So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.

The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."