You jokes

One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?

Ground Beef.

"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?

Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.

How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?

The big hand is on the little hand!

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  • Roses are red, the grass is greener,

    Every time I think of you, I play with my weenie.

    Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."

    Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."

    Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!

    Me: But Billy's with her right now.

    Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM

    Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.

    "_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.

    _____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."

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  • Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

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  • Friend: Do you think she likes me?

    Me: Yah.

    Friend: Really😀😀😀?

    Me: Hell no.

    Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.