I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady she asked which kid is mine and I responded I haven't decided yet
It funny how you feel so alone with depression and yet once you tell people on some random website so may people relate unfortunately it doesn't stop the loneliness
If Stephen Hawkins was so Fucking Smart , Why hasn't he learned to walk yet ?
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
The couple next-door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
These are all really nice jokes but here is one. Boy: Spell ME Girl: M-E Boy: You forgot the D Girl: There is no D in ME Boy: Not yet
- I think you ́re EGGcellent. + Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you`re a EGGxtraordinary comedian. - Really? Are you done yet?. + Are you kidding? a have a DOZEN of them.
/Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" "To the morgue." "What? But I’m not dead yet!" "And we’re not there yet."
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
I don't have much motivation for things that's why i haven't yet killed myself hehe
There's is this cute russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka
used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask.....
Yet here i am, stuck at home in this covid19 Thriller, Beating it.....
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back. Miss you dad. -Aniya
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."
Why don't orphan drink milk
Cause there parents have not came back with it yet
Gf:Hi
Bf:Hi
Gf:did you eat yet
bf:did you eat yet?
Gf:are you copying me?
Bf:are you coping me??
Gf:i love you
Bf:yeah i ate already
I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy
we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time
then, she asked me flirtatiously
"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"
I said, "Nope, not yet".
She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."
So she took me to her place.
She took out her keys
opens her door
turn on the light
and she yells towards upstairs
"Mom, are you still awake?”
The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black." the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. "Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
