Year olds jokes

What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?

They are all locked in the Priest's basement.

What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?

because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.

My girlfriend called me pedophile today.

Big word for a 12-year-old.

A priest walks into a wine store.

"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."

What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

Man: "I’m telling everybody!"

I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.

A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"

Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"

Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.

Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?

Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.

A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.

"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."

In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.

My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.

The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.

The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”

What do you call an 18 year old orphan?

Homeless.