Year olds jokes
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
I've got not much of anything to be honest.
Been in special classes in school.
Not liked by people.
Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.
31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.
Not very smart.
Don't look good.
Hate myself more than anything.
Been a failure at everything in life.
Probably be alone forever.
People treat me like crap.
Can't do anything right.
And the list goes on and on.
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis.