Worst jokes
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.
What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.
Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!
You know what's REALLY "Ironic"?
Answer:
These REALLY ARE the "Worst Jokes" I've ever heard!
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.