Worst jokes
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
What are the three worst years of a black child's life?
First grade!
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved. This was the worst joke ever.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.