Worst

Worst Jokes

Daughter

What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.

Cancer

What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.

Rape

What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?

You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.

Worst

Mom clean your room Me no it’s my room and I don’t want to clean it Mom you are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter me Well I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now am I you are the Worst like why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter I’m not her OK I am not her so stop Mom do you know what I pushed you out of my hula 43 minutes do not make me hate you because guess what I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it Me bro

Funeral

What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?

Fall Guys.

Pub

Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.

You can't drink alcohol or dance.

Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.

Sex

What is the worst part about siblings having sex?

Being left out.

Squirt

What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?

She charges you for extra sauce!

Unemployment

The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

Woman

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

Child

What are the three worst years of a black child's life?

First grade!

Comedian

The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

Ocean

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved. This was the worst joke ever.

Part

What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?

You end up doing all the work.

Suicide

What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?

The school shooter will always spare you.

Pterodactyl

(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.

Peter Pan

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

Zoo

"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."

Parent

"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."