world's

world's jokes

Man

  • A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

    Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

    Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

  • 1
  • Hole

  • In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.

    The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.

    The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.

    In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.

  • 0
  • Guy

  • Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

    So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

    The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

    She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

    Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

    So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

    So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

  • 1
  • Survey

  • A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?

    It was a failure because:

    South Americans don’t know the word “please.”

    Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”

    Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”

    Balkans don’t know the word “give.”

    Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”

    Africans don’t know the word “food.”

    Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”

    Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”

    Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”

  • 2
  • Teacher

  • My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"

    Josh: Cookies.

    Jacob: My parents.

    Erika: My Friends!

    Brody: Lamborghinis.

    Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)

    My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!

    *Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....

  • 1
  • World

  • The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

    Room

  • Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.

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  • Depression

  • My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."