Work jokes

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.

It worked really well in my local hospital.

I have a joke about lazy people!

Actually... forget it... it won't work.

Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.

Hello, everyone, how is your day today?

What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?

The Home Depot.

I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.

I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!

If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.

Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?

Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!

Why is a waiter good at math?

Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣

The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.