Work jokes

If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.

When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.

So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.

It worked really well in my local hospital.

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.

What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?

The Home Depot.

Hello, everyone, how is your day today?

I have a joke about lazy people!

Actually... forget it... it won't work.

Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?

Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!

Why is a waiter good at math?

Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.