Work jokes
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Where did the one legged lady work?
IHOP
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.
I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
I have a joke about lazy people!
Actually... forget it... it won't work.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
Why is a waiter good at math?
Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...