Work jokes

So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.

It worked really well in my local hospital.

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.

What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?

The Home Depot.

Hello, everyone, how is your day today?

I have a joke about lazy people!

Actually... forget it... it won't work.

Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?

Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!

Why is a waiter good at math?

Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.