Wordplay jokes
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.
Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
Who’s the hottest girl in the world?
Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."
Nah, it's a penis.
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
What do you get when Glen fucks an orange?
Adam.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.