Word jokes

What were my great grandpa's last words?

"SHIT MG42!!!"

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

Angel is a good word.

Why can't your nose be twelve inches?

Because then it would be a foot.

Scree.

In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.

If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

What were Princess Diana's last words?

Have you been Dri...?

Dishwasher rape is another word for marital obligations.

What starts with F and ends with uck? Firetruck, what were you thinking?

What do you call a fat duck?

Donald Duck.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?

A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.

What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.

"You must be why they invented the word ugly."

I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.

Interfischl

Happy

Apple

Tea

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Aaron.

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

Words that have "ho" in them:

Thot

Whore

Asshole

Horrible

Horena (my ex gf)