Word jokes
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...
"It was just a prank bro."
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
I have a little John.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
Yeetus.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?
Hot Wheels.
Aren't I beary good?