Word jokes
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
Mr. Bunler.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
Memes
no words
What do you call a shadow?
Tyrone, don’t be a coon!
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.
Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.
And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
POV: Her name is Alli.
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?
A BUNny.
Hana?
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)