Word jokes
Alle Kinder hiessen Melissa, ausser Kurt, han hed det "grime Kurt bombomn".
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
Eh.
The "f" on orphan stands for family.
My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"
So I threw my dictionary at her.
Nutty.
The "f" in "orphan" means family, even though there's no "f."
What does the F in "orphan" stand for?
"Family," but there is no F.
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
Fard.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.
Apple: What?
Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
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Nononono.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
What were Stephen Hawking's dying words?
"Restore factory settings."
Stupid.