Word jokes
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
I still remember my grandpa's last words.
"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
Memes
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
Dick.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
What do you call a gay BBQ? LGBBQ.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Gwen is a liar. She said she is a Christian and then is saying bad, bad, bad, bad words. Shame on you, Gwen, LIAR!
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).
A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”
My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.