Word jokes
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.
Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.
Boy: Exactly!
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."
I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
I still remember my grandpa's last words.
"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
What do you call a gay BBQ? LGBBQ.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"