Word jokes

I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"

I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a lil' boogie in it ;)

What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?

Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)

Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!

Q: What were my son's last words before he died?

A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."

A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"

"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)

What is one word orphans can't spell?

Family.

What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?

“Is It In?”

Spell "IOUT", no space.

The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.

What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.

Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.

Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.

Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.

Boy: Exactly!

What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.

What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?

Legs.

You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!