Word jokes

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.

Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?

Yo mama so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter O... OBCD.

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)

What were Stephen Hawking's dying words?

"Restore factory settings."

I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"

What did the Titanic say while sinking?

"It's going down."

One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."

Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.

H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:

Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"

How many letters are there in the alphabet? 26? No, 8!

I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"

Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.

The "f" in "orphan" stands for "amily." There is no "f."

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

Why can’t blind people read this?

They can’t see.

I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.