Word jokes

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?

Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.

|| 20 YEARS LATER ||

Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?

Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.

Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.

Knock, knock.

Who is there?

Old lady.

Old lady who?

I did not know you could yodel!

What does the word circumcise mean?

Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.

Say "I hop in this:".

I made you eat your peas! 🤦

Q: Why is marriage not a word?

It's a life sentence!

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.

It means a lot!

Fard.

Hana?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

I didn’t know you could yodel!

I left Twitter for a while, and when I tried to log back in, I found out I was suspended. I realized it was a penalty for saying some prohibited words on Twitter.

Sadly, my idol Pristiano Penaldo took the penalty for me and he missed, and now I'm on my alt. Shame on you, Penaldo!

Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana.

BORNANA

What's the opposite of Jason?

Jasister.

What happens if you mix the two names "Shannon" and "Stephanie"? You have the name "Shanny."

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

One word. Creeper.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

What if "balloon" was spelled "balooon?" Thatf

Obese is the N-word for fat people.