Wont jokes
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.
Gwen and Prince chat and talk and discuss; we won't bother you! Here! Enjoy!
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
His neighbor asked Hodja,
"Do you have some forty-year-old vinegar?"
"I have," answered Hodja.
"Would you give me some? I need it to prepare a medication," said the man.
"No, I won't," replied Hodja. "If I had given some to everybody who asked for it, would I have it for forty years?"
TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.