Women jokes
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
What is the best joke in the world? Women’s rights.
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
What is the difference between my dad’s generation and my generation of women?
He had Wonder Woman, and I have to wonder if it’s a woman.
There is only one reason why I find women useful.
That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Why does God hate me?
Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.