Woke Jokes

well i got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep then my step bro got home and i did not know and hours later i woke up my pants were down and my butt was on fire

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed, turns out the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

Unfortunately NASCAR has been cancelled. The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring

how did the chinese chicken cross the road?

he WOKed

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When was at the hospital and he woke up he asked the doctor of he was okay.

The doctor said ur all right now.

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work but he was still really tired, so he decided the qiuckest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face. So he asked me to do it but I guess I don't know my own strangth and so-he went back to sleep again...

I woke up today and my mom said it was 1940

It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean.. I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.

I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted

Parademic are so bad go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise the tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race the race begin and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow the rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow so he decided to take a nap as he took a nap the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke the ran as fast as he could but when he came to the end the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A: M

Holmes said, look up Watson what can you see?

Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A:M

What else Watson

It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow

What Else Watson

What am I supposed to see Holmes?

Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent

Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy! So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips, I was so excited. (Incase you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like "Oh that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like "Okay that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week" So long story short, I have new grips now.

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke-up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey".

I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten and then I woke up from a nightmare

one day i woke up went on my phone some pussy was calling my i ansered it and said hello pussy and a pussy pic showed up

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen. I turned on the light and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled ,,there is big game tomorrow", and he disappeared.

There was this man and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale

hey yesterday i played with my sister when i woke up she was gone