Woke Jokes

Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad 🥶🥶

- 0 tapins 😍😍 - 0 assists 🤩🤩 - 3/3 dives 🤯🤯 - 0 key passes 🥵🥵 - 2 big chances missed 🤡🤡 - 1/4 dribbles 💀💀 - 2 Offsides 😤😤 - 27 claps 👏👏

Better than Elanga? 🥶🥶

One day little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parent's bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing he said playing cards, Little Johnny said who is your partner? dad said his mom on his way up he passed by his sisters room and noticed sheets Bouncing around and asked what she’s doing she said playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul. Next day dad came to ask Johnny a questions The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing he said playing cards. His dad asked him who is his partner was little johnny said you don’t need a partner if you have a good hand

one man walks up to another and says hey did you here about the kidnapping at main street the guy says no the other guy says oh he woke up

Hey did you hear about the kidnapping?" "no." Yeah but then he woke up.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Its fine, he woke up

There once was a man from Peru.who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke up at night ,with a terrible fright,to find out his dream had come true.

One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."

I heard there was a kidnapping

Don't worry he woke up

In the back of a van

It was his father's

Friend who was a priest

He was just bringing him to church

My stepdad took me to work and he told me I could climb trees. I woke up in a hospital, wait did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack

I had a dream that i was destroyin the world and i blew up my house for fun I woke up and couldnt find my pillow... Nor the house

so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

On my 21st Birthday my mom told me I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child your going to to get something good and something you been looking forward to is what my mom said. Me my mom and my on;y friend celebrate my Birthday then we all went to sleep I woke up the next day I ask hey where my gift you said you got me. My mom said since your father left us you have have no father figure in your life. So this is your new step father the only thing it was my only friend.

Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing so hope you enjoy and you don't have to read this!

So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!