Will jokes

Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.

When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.

Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...

Me:...

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮

B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛

you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.

Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.

Anyways,

Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?

More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!

But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.

How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.

How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.

Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".

What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.

Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!

Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low

Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.

I wrote a few jokes:

What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.

If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.

If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!

Run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours. It will be fun!

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Why can't an orphan have a phone?

Because they will see a home.

I will remember my classmate's last words: "Ahh, my pen's ink spilled on my computer!"

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!