Why jokes
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
Mom: Son, did you go to school?
Son: What if I said yes?
Mom: You are in school! *slap*
Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.
Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(
Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.
Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!
Son: Good.
Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?
If you like it, please commit down.
During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.
I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.
Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”
My friend was the only one who laughed.
Why did God create women with pussies?
Because:
1. Of course, God is a man.
2. Of course, he isn't gay.
3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
Why did the guy like retarded jokes? Because he was a retard himself.
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...
Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.
Why was the sun afraid of the ocean?
'Cause 7 8 9.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Cause they taste funny.
Why did the tall building fall?
It was September 11th.
Why are people joking about this stuff?
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Why didn’t the Japanese guy get a high five? Cause Logan Paul left him hanging...
Why did the skeleton not cross the road?
Because it did not have the guts.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."