Why jokes
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.