Why jokes

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he had someone to call a father.

Daughter: Mommy?

Mom: Hey.

Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?

Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.

Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...

Why did the orphan commit suicide?

So he could find home.

Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?

She doesn't eat pigs.

One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"

The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?

Because he's dead.

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

Why do orphans like to play GTA?

Because it's the only time they are wanted.

So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.

When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

Why is rape worse than death?

Because dead people get way more attention.

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

They don't have the guts.

A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"

The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"

Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.

Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."

Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Why are Indians such good actors?

Most of them are phone scammers.

Why are lesbians bad at math?

Because they can't multiply.

Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.

1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.

My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.

I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."

Why can orphans never be kidnapped?

No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."