Why jokes
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the rear end.
Why did your friend eat the burger?
Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!
Not really. He was just hungry.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
Memes
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best cum.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar?
He said "ÂĄHola snack bar!" ÂĄHola means hello in Spanish.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They don't know who daddy is.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
Why canât orphans play baseball?
Because they canât find home.
Why do orphans eat their cereal dry? Their dad hasnât come back with the milk.
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didnât get to the other side.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.