Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.
Why Jokes
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.
Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
Why was Hitler a Baka at mathematics? Because he can only count to Nein.
