Why jokes
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.