Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
Why Jokes
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
