Why did Helen Keller burn her hands? Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
wanna know why to not joke about 911? They usually crash the party
Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory?
For Throwing Out the W's
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why do they do glow in the dark comdoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree
because he died
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave ? Buy 1 get 1 free 😂😂😂😂
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
why did little billy drop his ice cream cone?
becasuse he got hit by a bus
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? -- Because she always ran away from the ball.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV His daughter comes in and says "dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! Its because when you were born a rose peddle fell on your head." "Cool" Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said "dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied,"Oh! its because when you were a baby, a daisy peddle fell on your head." "Awesome" Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"
Why do people not play uno with Mexicans... because they are always stealing the green cards
Why Were The Twin Towers Scared At Dinner?
Because There Mom Said "Here Comes The Airplane!"
