Why jokes
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?
A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
Why is it spicy?
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?
Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?