Why jokes
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
Why the actual f
is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!
Why did the chicken kill himself?
To get to the other side.
Why do orphans hate big bags of chips?
Because they are family sized :,)
Why are pirates named pirates?
Cuz they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Why do trannies have such high rates of suicide?
Because they want everyone to accept them, but they can't accept themselves.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Why do orphans like Darth Vader?
So he can say, "I'm your father!"
Why can’t orphans tell jokes?
Because their parents can’t *bear* the *jeans* because they don’t have any.
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
Why can't Michael Jackson come within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead. 😁
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
Why are dead baby jokes always funny?
They never get old.
Why did the joke die?
Because it's a meme!
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.