Why jokes
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, slut!"
I walked towards him.
"I prefer slit," I said.
"Why?" He asked.
"You see these wrists?" I spat at him.
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
Memes
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
Why do ducks have feathers?
So you don't see their butt. *quack* (crack)
Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.
Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?
Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.
Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?
Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.
LOL xD
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣
Why is the USA bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home. 😢
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!