Why jokes
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
Why can Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, go tell their parents?
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why do they call priests "father?" Because it's too suspicious to call him "daddy!"
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.
Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
They wanted somebody to call "daddy."
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"