Why jokes
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
this MIGHT be cosmos phone
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
'Cause they can't make it family friendly.
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.
Why did the bee get married?
Because she found her honey.