Why jokes
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
Why do men say funny things? Just to be silly!
Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
Knock knock. Who's there? Theodore. Theodore who? Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
Why don’t butts ever win at cards?
Too many farts!
Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.
Why can’t orphans have a horse?
Because they run away like their mum did.
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.
Why do cheetahs have spots? Chicken pox.
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
Why do special ed classes have fans?
To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.
Why can’t orphans go to a field trip?
Parent signature: _________
Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?
Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?
Because they can’t even.
Why have sex when you can perv on your neighbor's grandma!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
Why can’t orphans build computers?
They don’t know where to put the motherboard.