Why jokes
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
Why did the pedophile get kicked out of the candy store?
Because he snatched all of the Sour Patch Kids.
Why was Stephen Hawking known as lazy?
Because he was always sitting on the job.
Hey, wanna know why you remind me of a waitress?
Because you handle my food great, and I give you a good tip afterwards.
Why are batteries quicker than Stephen Hawking?
Because they can run out.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to his fridge but get nothing out?
It was a dummy run.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because there was only a stairway to heaven and no lifts.
Why did the clown fall off his bike?
Because the neighbor threw a washing machine at him.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
Why couldn't the farmer tend to the crops?
Because he's got no arms.
Why couldn't the kid play on his laptop?
Because he has no arms and no laptop and no legs and no head and no home and no money and got shot.
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.
Why did the fat man miss his flight?
His body weight exceeded the weight limit.
Why was Hitler banned from Formula One?
He could never finish a race.
Why did the paraplegic cross the road?
Because they didn't have any handicapped parking spots on his side.
Why did Sally stay in school?
Because she has no arms, she can’t open the door, and the teacher left!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
Why were the Twin Towers mad at 9/11?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why are there so few Arab soldiers? Because they always commit suicide on their first day.