Whos

Whos jokes

Murder

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

Apology

Dear Gwen and Prince,

Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.

Bear

Man: Knock, knock...

Boy: Who's there?

Man: Bear...

Boy: Bear who?

Man: Bear bottom.

Fart

What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?

DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!

Sister

My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"

Victim

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.

Friend

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

Ice Cream

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a truck.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why?

To visit the ugly witch's house.

Knock, knock...

Who's there?

The chicken!

Hand Grenade

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

Kid

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

Amputation

"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."

Bill Cosby

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bill Cosby.

Bill Cosby who?

Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.

Knife

How do you kill a retard?

Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"

Bunch

What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?

A doppelgangbang.

Daughter

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

Cheese

What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?

"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"