Whos jokes
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To visit the ugly witch's house.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
The chicken!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
Memes
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"