My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Whenever I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
bro whenever i look at you fortnite gets popular again
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him I felt disappointment
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations he says, "Thank you for your donation!"
Yo mama so smelly, whenever she steps outside she pollutes the air!
I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
yo' mamas so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
