What does a gynecologist and delivery driver driver have in common? Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep. There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patient to sleep, so I unplug them.
A Piece of Sodium That Lived in a Test Tube Fell in Love With a Bunsen Burner "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!" The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
Steven Hawking had dark humor. Whenever he turned on his laugh effect it diverted power from his screen brightness.
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
BlessedBrian’s face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I’M around
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly
Because whenever they hit the corner they build a shop
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night she’s back in bed
Your mama so ugly whenever she threw boomerang, it refused to come back
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "not now."
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
My love for you is like poop.
Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away
You so ugly whenever you say hi to so when they walk away and say that you were too ugly and they go take a bath right away cuz you so stinky and they say that you look like your mama wait your Mama must be either just like you because I can see her way from a mile You say you put on perfume but every time I spell you you feel like you poo poo you're so ugly that when your mom look in the mirror you cry you're so stupid the second grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten Head start every grade below you you can't even go to 20 grade stands for 9th grade you can't even go to grocery stores and people that tell you that you're so ugly they give you compliments just to make you feel better you know that everybody just like you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings so just stay in your mind hey you want to text Matt you know it was you because every time you see you you think that you matter fact he doesn't even like it for you he just want your money girl who even like you 😈😈
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
My family was watching home alone 2, so whenever Kevin was top of the twin towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
It was raining sadly all day my wife my 2 daughters and me stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died
Wife:😭😭😭I wish this never happened
Mia our first daughter: momy it’s ok I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby our second daughter: I love u all only if you guys die I won’t but I love you when ur alive 😉😏
Me husband: what kind of nonsense was that you love us when we’re alive but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except abby: abby this is serious mommy’s mother and father died. says Mia: yes your mom is sadly down right now you made her more sad😡🤬.says dad:sniffs* abby I had made a discussion I will take to an orphanage I am sorry 😣 when I amd better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back.says mom:
This was not a joke I just did this for Love 💕
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body. I gave her a shoulder to crayon
