When jokes
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders, they became The Insiders.
Dylan is so stinking when he goes for a poo poo! 😭🤣🤣
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
I got jealous when my phone died.
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.
Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.