When jokes

You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.

Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?

Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.

When I mist, I miss.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?

Then he gets into treble!

Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?

He had a 6 cents of humor.

When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What do you call Shroud when he is hurt?

ShrOWd.

Guess what, Shroud is back on wje, I don't know why, but he is...

What is it called when young sheep bet?

LAMbling.

(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

When the washer started running, why did you join me?

Because I had to catch it.

A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!

B: Thank you.

A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!

Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.

What does a bird say when it gets sick?

I flu!

Q: What did the egg do when the bacon told it a joke?

A: It cracked up!

When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.