When jokes
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
That hit the spot!
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
What time is it when you can walk home from school today and walk?
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
When your mum tells you to help your granny.
And you unplug life support!
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?
I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.