When jokes

You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.

It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.

The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!

Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!

What is an orphan's favorite day?

Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

I got jealous when my phone died.

Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

What did mum say when grandpa called?

Boomerang.

Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."

What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?

The worst shits you'll ever see!

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣

You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...

What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?

"An RC-XD!"

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.