When jokes

How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.

What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?

"9 Juan Juan, who this?"

What do you call skeletons having sex?

When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.

Where's freshfry when I need him? :(

When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!

Try with a cucumber.

Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?

A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.

Once upon a time, there was a crow with a piece of cheese in its mouth. Then a fox came, and when he saw the piece of cheese, he tried to trick the crow. He said that the crow's voice was beautiful, and then he said he wanted to hear him sing, so the crow started singing, and then the piece of cheese fell out of his mouth. He said never trust anyone, and then he walked away.

I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.

What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?

Bored games.

"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam.

A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.

Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.

"Where ya going?"

"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.

Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.

Followed by landing in deep shit.

Followed by being totally covered in sea men.

When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."