When jokes

Sticker

    • When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

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    • Incest

    • When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?

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    • Quarantine

    • Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.

    They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."

    "No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.

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    • Cake

    • A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"

    "Baking a cake."

    The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.

    "Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."

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    • When memes

    Babysitter

    • Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.

    I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.

    When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.

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    • Michael Jackson

    • What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?

    "You are not alone."

    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?

    A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.

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    • Disease

    • A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!

    CPR

    • I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.

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    • Daughter

    • So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"

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    • Character

    • I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

    I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

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