When jokes
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
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The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Memes
Always!
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
What is it called when an orphan is having a family reunion?
Me time.
When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued," and it said, "Fuck you."
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
I’m Zaptos intolerant!
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Yo mama so dumb, when Fox Five said it's chilly outside, she brought a bowlllllll!
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....