When jokes
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"
When is a rape victim right?
When she admits she lied.
You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
I'm like dynamite, you'll never know when I explode.
You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.
Bully: Shut up.
Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise