When jokes

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.

Yo mama's so fat, when Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg.

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"

Q: What do bloods eat when they get sick?

A: Chicken noodle suwoop.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.

Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.

Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.

Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.

A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.

"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.

"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."

The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"

She said, "Not everybody paid."