When jokes
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"