When jokes
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said "Damn!"
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?
When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!