When jokes
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?
2001/9/11.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.
We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
When I die, can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?