When jokes
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
I know a baby carrot when I see one.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
I was walking down the street when I thought I smelled my ex's perfume. Turns out, I was standing in front of a fish market.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put a sticker on their forehead saying "MADE FROM CHINA".
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"