When jokes
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
My face when “Free Palestine” wasn’t a sales deal.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.